I awoke this morning with a revelation.
The time I have will one day be at an end.
AN END? Like, one day I won't be here any more?

That's a pretty daunting thought, one most of us really don't want to think about too much. But it's an uncompromising fact. Life does not go on forever - at least on this earth it doesn't.
I lay in bed thinking about this. I didn't have much choice because once the train of thought had begun it wouldn't stop. So at some stage, I thought, there will be things I haven't done, said, or experienced because I'll have run out of time. Shudder.

That got me out of bed. I realised I hadn't time to waste, lying around doing nothing. Every moment had suddenly become important to me.
I have always thought our world is a wonderful place and it was becoming more wonderful by the moment as I considered a time when I would no longer be a part of it. No time left to make a difference. So what do I do?

I think of how the little things dictate how we should live our lives. And, suddenly, I become aware of the importance of each day - how it is a gift to be treasured, nurtured, and thankful for. I wonder how I would feel if I woke one morning knowing it was to be my last day on earth? In my current state of being I know  I would be gutted - and that's putting it mildly. I can feel the flood of regret for all the things I said I wanted to achieve and didn't; the people in my life I said I would spend more time with and didn't. I think about how the trivia of life has ruled me when what's really important are people and experiences.

A small example. The girls, myself included, in my office are currently on an en masse weight loss binge. It began with one, who had been on leave and returned after two months a slimmer model of her former self. That's it! we all cried, bemoaning the extra kilos we had gained. Not good enough, we chanted, it must be dealt with. So off we all trot to the local Weight Watchers' meeting, not thinking how we had all been there before - many times - and ended up where we are today, with the kilos stacked back on plus a bit more for good measure.

It's so true. VERY few of my acquaintance have managed to keep it off permanently. And this includes me. I've been a weight loss yoyo since my last child was born, nearly 33 years ago! Where will it all end, I wail? Obviously not the way I've been doing it. Not by fretting and weighing and counting points and doing mad dashes along the beach so I can have a glass of wine that night. No matter how determined I have been at the beginning, long term IT HASN'T WORKED!!
So, back to my revelation. If a day is a gift then shouldn't we be grateful for it? Shouldn't we take it and use it and enjoy it and create from it? Shouldn't we glory in it and make the most of every moment of it?

Starting today I plan to dump the etiquette book - the one that tells me I must look like Posh Spice to wear the latest trendy jeans; my living room must be kept looking like a show place at all times - meaning my tired, over-worked husband MUST NOT relax on the living room couch to watch the 6 o'clock news until he has showered and changed; my grand daughter MUST have ballet and piano lessons because these are necessary skills she needs to make her way in the world - even though she is three and prefers to climb trees; I must book a cruise for our annual holiday because it's what EVERYONE is doing and talking about to those of us, who haven't experienced the absolute sophistication of such things. And so on and on and on.

I have decided that FROM NOW ON I will cherish each day; relax more; stop trying to organise my family (for their own good). I will banish the word DIET from my vocabulary and I will accept that I am the master of my own destiny and entitled to enjoy and revel in my gift of each day.
It is a wonderful world out there and I am going to make the most of it.

Today I am going to send my apologies for my weekly business meeting and walk along the beach instead. It's a small start but I owe it to me - and my gift giver.